My beliefs and philosophy about life have changed over the years. Belief, being defined as the “acceptance of something for which the evidence remains unseen”. Recently, I have attracted the belief that the concept of god, or God, is simply a man-made creation to explain things misunderstood. When I was a child, I had many imaginary friends. Friends that I would tell stories to and about. To continue each story I would simply add, “and then” to the beginning of every new story line.

As I grew up through the influence of the Episcopal church, it was not much of a stretch to imagine many imaginary friends. God and the Holy Ghost were just two of them. Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were just more imaginary friends who looked out for me, brought me free presents and who I must satisfy with my behavior in order to receive the valued gifts.

I tried religion for many years. In my forties and fifties, I embraced Christianity to the fullest. Over five years, I read the complete Bible five times; daily section by daily section. Never more than 2-3 days lapsed, and rarely three days, between readings. I had each day to meditate on what I had read. I even memorized passages and used them in my daily life. I joined non-denominational congregations to expand my knowledge and surround myself with like-minded Christians. I took part in church development, met with a minister weekly for early morning breakfast to include a mentor for my beliefs. I was wed in churches, prayed, thanked and ask God to bless my life every day. I spread the word and gave praise to the Almighty. I studied and practiced religion.

I don’t think there was a real turning event, born again, type until I felt betrayed by love itself. As I questioned the results of a life long belief in “love conquers all”, I began to question many of my beliefs. It finally dawned on me that I had entrusted my life to imaginary friends. I kept running into the concept that I should just believe. The most used reason was because I was just a human sinner and God was so much larger than myself and how could I possibly understand with my puny brain. It just smacks of the answers to how does Santa Claus fly around the world in one night and visit every living room.

There were some important people of influence that got me back to thinking, rather than blindly accepting. Sam Harris helped me revisit the understanding that all we have is this moment. We really don’t have the power to know who or what random thoughts are going to appear in our minds that we then think we had the power to create. The idea of free will came into question and therefore we are merely results of cause and effect, stretching back into time.

I arrived at the conclusion that myself, along with most humans want to believe in some external locus of control for our daily living sanity. If you don’t believe in something, you will fall for anything came into question. The essence of original sin that we cannot wash away, the rules and regulations of organized religion, the corruptness of churches worldwide, the killing in the name of some imaginary friend; all came spearheading to a point. The thought that my imaginary friend can beat up your imaginary friend struck a sad but funny chord with me.

The cruel tactics that parents and society put on children, in order to control them is astounding to me. We try to trick children and then laugh at their being gullible. We scare them with the Boogie man, the wrath of our ancestors, the all seeing eye that can punish for thoughts as well as deeds. We entice them with the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny. We laugh at their ignorance and form a group of co-conspirators by refusing to tell other parents children that those imaginary friends don’t exist.\r\n\r\nBut have a child confess that they have an imaginary friend that they talk to and play with, and parents fall back on. No, you don’t have imaginary friends. That’s crazy.