Category: On Maturing

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Tribute to Pankaj Chand – A True Friend, Mentor, and Guiding Light

While sorting through some papers recently, I came across this letter from you. I was reminded of it as I wrote a tribute to Mary Elizabeth Boleyn yesterday for what would have been her 40th birthday.

I want to make sure I say these things to you while we are together above ground. Rarely do we get a chance to share our thoughts and respect for another person while we are both alive.

Today, I want to take a moment to honor a remarkable individual who has been more than a friend to me – Pankaj Chand. It’s rare to find someone who resonates with your soul, who stands by you in every phase of life, and who inspires you to be the best version of yourself. Pankaj, you are that rare gem.

Your presence in my life has been a beacon of hope and wisdom. From the fun times where our spirits danced in the light of friendship, to the profound moments where you stood by me, you’ve been my rock. I remember vividly the countless times we’ve been there for each other – me bringing tapes and player to your hospital room, guiding each other through challenging personal decisions and celebrations, or simply being a phone call away in moments of need.

Your support during my business ventures has been invaluable. Who else would have brought me the first hand-held device to run my business on Excel? Or mentored me as I ventured into the complexities of forming a corporation in India? Your foresight and wisdom have always guided me towards success.

But it’s not just in business that your influence has been felt. You’ve been there in my most personal moments – from health emergencies to being a comforting presence during my daughter Mary’s transition from this life. Your empathy and care have touched not just my life but the lives of my family members.

Pankaj, your leadership and vision in business are exemplary. But more than that, it’s your human touch, your ability to connect on a deeper level, that sets you apart. You’ve been a physician, not just in the medical sense, but in healing souls and mending hearts.

Your poem and song for Molly’s and my engagement, and your instrumental role in making our wedding a celebration, are memories I cherish deeply. Your presence at these milestone moments in my life added a special touch that only you could bring.

As you once wrote to me, “You are truly one of ‘Only a Few’.” These words mirror my sentiments for you. You have left an indelible mark on my life and on the lives of those around us. The rendition of “Wind Beneath My Wings” in Winnipeg was not just a tribute from you and to you, but a testament to the profound impact you’ve had on all of us.

As we continue on our life’s journey, I look forward to more adventures, more growth, and more shared moments of joy and sorrow. You’re not just a friend; you’re a brother, a mentor, and a guiding light.

Pankaj. Here’s to you – a true embodiment of resilience, insight, and love. May the years ahead be filled with health, happiness, and the continued joy of touching lives as you have touched mine.

With all my love and respect,

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Catchphrase

  • expression.
  • jingle.
  • phrase.
  • rallying cry.
  • saying.
  • trademark.
  • byword.
  • catchphrase.
  • Idiom
  • proverb
  • shibboleth
  • watchword
  • war cry

It seems our lives are punctuated by single or short groups of words to describe our existence. We udder fine, ok, not bad, in response to how are you doing. Niceties are quickly shuttered aside in order to quickly reach the crutch of the matters at hand.

Hope you have a nice weekend, quite the lengthy conjecture, get the typical, U2. Feelings are manifested by a meme. Tweets are combinations of abbreviated cliche in combinations with hieroglyphs.

We are in fact infographics on display. It’s more than trite expressions or catchy outtakes. Colloquialisms abound in one generation, only to be replaced or adopted by the next rising replacements. Some singularities like “rad” die. Others, like “cool”, seem to be conveyed equally amongst multiple generations.

So, it has come to me that a book about Fourth & Goal and Force of Purpose should be a string of infographics. Pictures are worth a thousand words. There. I used a well-known phrase to compost multiple explanations down to a visual word picture. If I were to add a visual context to the phrase, I now would have a picture that conveys an expanding thought.

Infographic – Picture is worth a thousand words – #boomertozoomer
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Ikigai

Finding the path is the first step. Start by determining where the start point is. This mandala is perfect. See the TED talk to gain understanding.

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Losing My Marbles

After reading a passage in Jim Muncy’s book, Time Basics, I decided to put 96 marbles (representing 8 years of months) into a jar and carry one around each month to help stay focused on time. At the end of each month, I will incorporate the marble into a piece of architectural vision of my journey. So far, after nearly two weeks, I find myself treating the first marble like “Wilson” in Cast Away. I panic if I misplace it. I keep it protected. Just like the time that it represents, it is very precious. If I had treated the last 10 years as carefully, my life would most likely be significantly different.So, I guess that when the I have lost all my marbles, my life should be even more exciting than it is today.

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By Saying Yes, What Am I Saying No To

By reading Time Basics, I revisited an old adage, by saying yes to one thing in my life, what am I saying no to at the same time? It goes along with my method of creating urgency in my current life. I put 96 marbles into a jar, representing the next 8 years of my life in months. Each day, I look at the current marble on top of the jar to remind myself that when that month is over, and I toss the marble away, I can never regain the time I used. It is gone forever! The question is then, what did I do with that limited time? What did I say yes to, at the expense of something I am saying no to at the same time? Very interesting observation and awareness. I love life!

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Life Lesson – HALT

One of the ideas my Pop explained to me as a young boy was that our mouths get us in the most trouble in our lives. A counselor in junior high school once explained to me as well, that it is not what we say, as much as how we say it. Combining those two, I have found that when it comes to having a conversation with someone that creates stress in our lives to use the acronym HALT. Never start a conversation that can become stressful while Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.

If that person contacts you before you are ready, simply say you will call them back and maintain your integrity and sanity. Leaning to say “no” to oneself and others is a real challenge of maturity.

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Where I’m Going

It is always great to revisit books that have been impactful to me. Games People Play/Eric Berne, is one of those books. Written in 1964, I probably read it while in my military years. It had a profound effect on how I related to people and later for therapy interaction.

Rereading it yesterday provided one of those “aha moments” that make me stop reading and further contemplate a passage, culminating in “Wow, that is profound” being uttered out loud. It talked about how people outlook their lives and especially their past. In the introduction by James Allen MD, he states that some people look at their past as part of where they are going. As a new affirmation for myself: My past is part of where I’m going! I like it.

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Imaginary Friends

My beliefs and philosophy about life have changed over the years. Belief, being defined as the “acceptance of something for which the evidence remains unseen”. Recently, I have attracted the belief that the concept of god, or God, is simply a man-made creation to explain things misunderstood. When I was a child, I had many imaginary friends. Friends that I would tell stories to and about. To continue each story I would simply add, “and then” to the beginning of every new story line.

As I grew up through the influence of the Episcopal church, it was not much of a stretch to imagine many imaginary friends. God and the Holy Ghost were just two of them. Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were just more imaginary friends who looked out for me, brought me free presents and who I must satisfy with my behavior in order to receive the valued gifts.

I tried religion for many years. In my forties and fifties, I embraced Christianity to the fullest. Over five years, I read the complete Bible five times; daily section by daily section. Never more than 2-3 days lapsed, and rarely three days, between readings. I had each day to meditate on what I had read. I even memorized passages and used them in my daily life. I joined non-denominational congregations to expand my knowledge and surround myself with like-minded Christians. I took part in church development, met with a minister weekly for early morning breakfast to include a mentor for my beliefs. I was wed in churches, prayed, thanked and ask God to bless my life every day. I spread the word and gave praise to the Almighty. I studied and practiced religion.

I don’t think there was a real turning event, born again, type until I felt betrayed by love itself. As I questioned the results of a life long belief in “love conquers all”, I began to question many of my beliefs. It finally dawned on me that I had entrusted my life to imaginary friends. I kept running into the concept that I should just believe. The most used reason was because I was just a human sinner and God was so much larger than myself and how could I possibly understand with my puny brain. It just smacks of the answers to how does Santa Claus fly around the world in one night and visit every living room.

There were some important people of influence that got me back to thinking, rather than blindly accepting. Sam Harris helped me revisit the understanding that all we have is this moment. We really don’t have the power to know who or what random thoughts are going to appear in our minds that we then think we had the power to create. The idea of free will came into question and therefore we are merely results of cause and effect, stretching back into time.

I arrived at the conclusion that myself, along with most humans want to believe in some external locus of control for our daily living sanity. If you don’t believe in something, you will fall for anything came into question. The essence of original sin that we cannot wash away, the rules and regulations of organized religion, the corruptness of churches worldwide, the killing in the name of some imaginary friend; all came spearheading to a point. The thought that my imaginary friend can beat up your imaginary friend struck a sad but funny chord with me.

The cruel tactics that parents and society put on children, in order to control them is astounding to me. We try to trick children and then laugh at their being gullible. We scare them with the Boogie man, the wrath of our ancestors, the all seeing eye that can punish for thoughts as well as deeds. We entice them with the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny. We laugh at their ignorance and form a group of co-conspirators by refusing to tell other parents children that those imaginary friends don’t exist.\r\n\r\nBut have a child confess that they have an imaginary friend that they talk to and play with, and parents fall back on. No, you don’t have imaginary friends. That’s crazy.